PREGO?

Sama ada anda terlalu lapar mahupun kebulur, pasti anda terbayang-bayangkan spaghetti bersama PREGO yang lazat tatkala terbaca title diatas. Tambahan pula, anda sedang mengidam kan Prego bersama cendawan atau bolognese. gulp! Lagi! Dengan layout aku yang terbaru ni, yang seakan-akan sebuah kedai makan. OH. Bukan itu yang aku maksud kan.

Aku mempunyai satu kemusykilan. Apakah ini benar? atau aku bermimpi? Let's cut to the chase Nurul 'Ain, jangan kau cuba berkias-kias lagi, spit it out!

Kakak ipar aku pregnant ke wey?

Aku duduk bersiar-siar dalam facebook, bukak page die ni, die tu, bukan gambar orang ni, orang tu, Tup tup, aku terbaca dekat page K.Mafa, a.k.a Kakak ipar aku la, you should know by now.

Ade orang congrates2 beliau. Mule2, aku ingat kan, yang duk congrates2 dy uh, out-of-date gile, kes aku ingatkan dy congrates Kak Mafa kahwin ngan Angah, eh, HELLO, It's been almost a year okay.

But then, aku check2 balik, dorang duk sebok2 nak bagi name anak-anak angah dan k.Mafa la pulak, aish. Gejala ini tidak normal. Unless... K.mafa prego........?

Aku tergedik-gedik nak kepastian. Nak call mak aku, but then, takot dorang senirik tak bagitau lagi mak ayah aku, kang cakap aku spoil the suprise. Tapi, aku call gak, but more to dig out the information from my mom ah. Aku tanye, tade cerite ke time lepak umah K.mafa aritu, mak aku cakap tade pon. Memang nothing ah. Mak aku tatau la tu kot.

Nak call kakak aku, nak share, but then, die plak tido. Ngantok, letih kerja maybe. Hurm. Maken aku tergedik2. Last-last, aku decide nak tanye K.mafa sendirik, but then, malu la pulak. Ntah hape aku nak malukan kan. Ok. Cube susun ayat untuk aku, cemane aku nak tanye kat die.

"Kak Mafa pregnant ke?"

Out of nowhere! haha. Well. I can always starts the conversation with other things kan, haha. Turns out, I end up send her a text message where I said :-

"Rase cam nak makan PREGO la pulak"

There! I said it. Kalau die dapat crack the code, good then, tapi kali die tak paham, she can always assume that I'm craving for PREGO the food, which is... I kinda am right now.

Kalau la betul she's pregnant, Do you know what freaks me the most?

I DIDN'T CAME UP WITH ANY NAMES FOR MY NEPHEW TO CALL ME!

Aduussh. Ni berat ni! Tamao la end up ngan nama yang ntah hape-hape, coz it will stuck for the rest of my life!

Come2. Help me come up with it. How should my nephew address me?

Mok Yu? Bunyik macam GEMOK NYE YOU, and, hodoh pulak bibir aku membulat-bulat macam donut bile menyebut. Macam nak kiss orang pon ade jugak. TANAK!

Mok Su? Err. I don't think I want to stick with the MOK thing in front, terase tue dan gemok. I'm 20 for god sake. And not that fat. HAHA.

Cik Su? Bunyik cam name makcik yang pinjam 30 bijik gelas plastic mak aku tapi tak pulang-pulang tu pulak. Next!

Cik Yu? Macam best, kalo sebut banyak-banyak kali, bunyik macam 'Che Yoo'. Haha. Dah macam korean dah kat situ. Memang aku dichop ''The Best Aunt Ever" ah! For sure.

Senang-senang suruh dorunk panggel aku POKEMON je. Baru laen dari yang laen. hihi.

p/s: Aku still tatau samada beliau pregnant ke tak. Let's pray for it. :D

PRICE TAG

Mengikut definition PRICE TAG yang aku googled,

'A lable attached to a merchandise indicates it's price'

For those who have watched 3 Idiots, Suhas is the price tag. On a movie review I found that, Suhas is the tycoon with a penchant for putting a price tag on all his gifts and stuffs.

Ye lah, kalo dah something tumpah atas kasut mahal die tuh, satu kampong bising. Sambil-sambil bising, siap boleh bagitau definition n details about his so-called kasut tuh. Huhu. Ok, aku bukan tahu sangat sal citer Suhas tuh, and bukan nak cerita pasai dia pon, nak cita pasai famili I.

Kepade sesape yang kenal aku, sure die tahu, aku ni ratu berlagak. And mereka pula sudah sedia maklum bahawa belog aku ni, mengecapi unsur-unsur BLOGAK, yakni, Blog + Berlagak.

Tengah-tengah aku google pekataan BERLAGAK, aku tertarik pada satu entry yang mengenengahkan Cara Berlagak Depan Member-Member. Well, 2 out of 6 of the tips, is purely inside me. Guess which is it, okay?

Aku tahu, kegiatan berlagak ni tidak baik untuk kesihatan. Tapi, mostly.. Style aku berlagak ni is obviously just a joke. Kan?

Ok, Back to the main point. Price Tag.

FYI, memang family aku ni berdarah price tag. Sejibik macam kesah Suhas. Tapi tade la pulak nak maki-maki orang tak tentu pasal. Contohnye ;

Situasi 1 :

Aku terpijak kaki sape ntah, lupe, lantas ku berkate-kate ;

"Untong beliau, kene pijak ngan Clark 200 ringgit"

See that? Adekah anda panas? Rileks, ade lagi.

Situasi 2 :

Naek bas ngan Assila otw nak pergi stesen LRT U, Bas berhenti dekat under jambatan, then kononnye macam kene mount climbing gitu naek atas, Aku.. ;

"OH MY! Ruin aku nye seluar 130 ringgit!"

Sabar dude..sabar! ade lagi. Simpan dulu bara api kebencian, kemarahan lu.

Situasi 3 :

Aku nak pinjam abang aku punye Headphone ;

Abang : Jage molek headphone tuh! Aku beli 200 ringgit gune duit aku!

Aku : Macam la kalo aku pinjam jadi 50 ringgit harge die. *dengan selamba yaya*

Abang : *terkedu* betul3.

Lega dah sikit? tak panas sangat mata? kurang dah sket menyampah dekat aku?

Situasi 4 :

Kucing berak atas carpet mak aku ;

Aku : "Maaaa! Ade kucing berak atas carpet seribu!"

Settle. Puas hati korunk? Panas lagi? Ade soalan?

EVIL IN ME

Dalam seminggu yang lepas, ade salah seorang sahabat aku, tanye on behalf of sahabat, kat aku. Soalan nye berbunyi seperti ni ;

"Macam mane nak tackle/flirt ngan guy yang baru lepas clash"

Wow. Minxy! I like! So.. I kinda spice it up a lil' bit. Aku bagi every little thing that I can think of. Haha. Aku tak sure la kalau mende tu jadi ke tak, but, I try my best to place me in that other girl shoe.

Well. The evil begins. Lil did I know that I would do the exact things I told her... to my heartbroken friend who came to me...

Jeng! Jeng! Jeng!

Jahat nye aku, baru aku tawu. Kawan aku ni, hensem, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE I BEFRIEND WITH A HOT GUY LIKE THAT. I'd be dying to have him. *gatai*

But... NO.

I knew that. That would be super weird ,dude. He's one of my oldest friend for-crying-out-loud.

Ok, back to the main topic. This young handsome and heartbroken guy, came to me, seeking for someone to hear him. (Oh.. I definitely heard him. He doesn't need to ask.) *kehkeh*

He told me how sad he was, and wanted to talk to me about it. As much as seeking for my advice and help. But, the evil mind of mine said, *not out loud nor to him*

"You're gonna be mine, Fella!"

I snap! I shut my mouth. Tetibe aku rase jahat gile. *gulp* Tapi, who am I kidding la kan, sesape je leh tangkap yang aku already see the light at the end of the tunnel shines kan.. HEHE. *Mate bersinar-sinar*

But then, I came back to my sense, I shouldn't do this, He's my friend! Haha.

He keeps saying, "I need someone..."

and the EVIL me keep saying "You need me...MUAHAHAHA". And one time he said repeatedly that he needed someone, Evil speak to my mind "ARRGHH! Just say you NEED ME! I won't bite"

Ade jugak mase bile EVIL me cakap dalam hati "Kau tengok gambar raye aku cun la tu kan, that's why kau tego aku kan? Suke kat aku la tuh"

"Biar aku je la jadi awek kau"

Ok... I've gone overboard.. :D

*please note that, none of that evil speaking thing be said to him.. just me and my mind.

OH, trust me, segala apa yang tertera diatas is based on a true event.

OH! Jahat nye aku, ibarat macam, aku happy sangat that he's hurt. Eww. Die tuh bukan maen heartbroken, and sweet sangat bile die cakap, die nangis on the way balik KL, dalam kereta. OH MAN! HE's SWEET! *Yep, I find a guy that cries is sweet, what you got?

I have to be on his side! So, get back to my sense, and say, everything he needs to hear. I wish I could have help him out, but, even you know that I could only listen to him. Poor him.

That lil' bitch two-timing on him! hoh! If only I got license to kill. Tapi apekan daya, lesen kereta pon tak lepas.

Tak paham aku. Macam mane orang sehensem sebaek sesweet dan sekaye this fella boleh di two-timingkan? Kalo aku la kan, aku stick to him for infinity and beyond!

Well, I guess everybody got his/her own reason.

So, Sorry my fella. I'm wishing you the best.. *and hope that someday your heart open for me...*evil talking**

GOOGLE

Oleh sebab aku ter-pull off cable of the laptop, I kinda have to wait for it to search out for the wireless coverage. Idea tengah membuak-buak tadi, pssff..kacau je.

Anyway, aku pon berjuang jugak, since aku korbankan tido pagi aku untuk blogging ni, Aku click start menu and then accessories, and click notepad. Yeah, that right. Aku write blog aku temporarily in notepad. Classic kan?

Ade rupe macam orang yg kempunan nak ade blog pon mungkin. Haha. Lastest Facebook status aku berbunyi sebegini ;

Google ; A device to prove your friends wrong.

Aku terdetik dan terpikir tentang hal ni kes teringat waktu-waktu dimana aku and kawan-kawan aku arguing on some topics. Argue punye argue punye argue, last choice, one of us say ;

Ok! Senang citer,kite google je.

Bile dah google, and dah terbukti. Sume senyap dan puas hati. Orang yang argueing the opposite plak, dah dapat menerime kenyataan dan boleh adapt dalam situasi. Maybe agak malu, tapi, at least sekarang, dah dapat membetulkan knowledge yang selame ini terpesong. Hurm. Yang argue akan kebenaran pulak, menganggap dirinya menang and get to say ; "See, I told you" sambil sengih kambing. Kurang asam, cet.

Tell you what, ini gelaja or kalau di-untypo-kan nye, gejala yang sihat yang perlu dipupuk dalam kalangan remaja sekarang. *Eceh, BM aku B3 je, tapi tatabahasa betol what. Haha.*

Tapi, kadang-kadang, bile dah asyik nak google je, argue pon jadi tak panjang, tak best. Well, bukan nak cakap aku suka argue, tapi, argue tu boleh mengeratkan silaturrahim. Eceh. Bajet. Or kadang-kadang memang nak carik pasal pon ade. Hehe

Dalam kegunaan lain pulak, Google or saingan nye, Bing, ni boleh menjawab persoalan yang terbuku di hati, jiwa dan raga anda. *Aku tanak la wat lawak common dengan menambah 'raga basikal' or 'raga motor' kat hujung ayat kan*.

Contohnya, yang selalu aku alami, when watching movies, *omputeh maybe, kes aku dah start speaking* bile tengah-tengah syok menonton movie ni, you came across a very familiar face. Urrghh! you'd be dying to recall his name or what movies he starred in before, in case you've watch any of them.

SO, ape lagi, hit the pause button, and start searching la! Selagi tak jumpe, selagi tu la tak tenteram. Aku la yang selalu cantu. Yeah, kalo dah konon pakar dalam connecting the actors and movies, memang la tak senang duduk.

Tapi yang panas nye, tengah membuak-buak perasaan ingin tahu ni, tetibe plak, internet wat hal, macam sekarang, hampeh, tak gune. Tido lagi baek. Huh! Tido! Forget about that 'korbankan tido pagi' thing, there's no such thing, that's bullshit!

Sekian.

EMOSI MALAM RAYA

Emosi? emosi ape pulak ni? Haaa.. bukan emosi duk pikirkan sejarah kejahilan dulu2 ke, salah silap ngan orang ke, hape ke, emosi malam raye ni pelik sikit, meh nak kasik contoh, biar boleh anda sumer bayangkan :-

A : Cepat, cepat! Pasang langsir, lap lantai, bentang carpet, sapu sawang, basuh periuk kuali!

B : Ape pulak kite je yg kene buat sume, si C tu duduk bersahaje je dari bukak puase tadi, majok ah!

atau, situasi laen nye :-

Si B buat keje salah sikit,

A : Eh eh eh! Buat keje tu laen kali, guna otak sikit boleh tak?

B : *Air muke dah berubah, then, senyap je* *Emo*

Al maklom la, sume2 ade ragam senirik2, kebetulan pulak, setan-setan sume dah kuar berkeliaran, mmg la masing2 naek antu. Tanak mengalah masing2. haha. Bukan cani kite sambot ketibaan Syawal ye kanak2. haha.

*Please note that the situation above is NOT based on a true event. No. :P

Aku ni ckp je lebih, macam mane lah orang tak bising kalo aku ni duk meniarap lagi atas katel, berblogging, sedangkan sume2 tengah sebok2 duk dapo? HAHA. Nak cop aku kaki malas? lantak pi lah, aku ade task aku senirik, hehe, tibe mase task aku kene langsai, baru aku gerak. Macho tak? OK, tak langsong. haha.

err.. tu je kot. Nak gi tolong orang wat keje kat luar ah. GTG.

OH, ZACK!

Siape sangke sebuah belog bisa menceriakan setiap hari anda? Shoot. dah pon terikot2 beliau.

Sape tak kenal ZackZukhairi? aku pon mushkil cane la mamat nih leh fofuler, kecuriousan aku tejawab tatkala aku manatap belog dy for the first time.

I spent from 1 a.m until suboh menekan2 setiap title kat blogroll beliau. oh, nampak gayenye, aku menyubang duet kepade beliau, thanks to me and other 9700++ of his followers.

Seterusnye, kami sekeluarge (menipoo, i mean, satu bilik) menjadi one of his "Balai mengadap" people. Akan ade satu tab yg dibiarkan lame tidak tertutop kat google chrome, yakni, belog beliau. Wes.. korunk kenal kat mane aku eager sangat nak suke2 belog org neh? Tak penah hayat tau, ini kali pertama. Be serious. TAKDE KAETAN.

Kadang2, bile mate dah penat menjeling screen laptop, adelah nnt volunteer nak jadi ala2 pemberite, bacekan post2 beliau.

OK, bukan nak carik publicity post sal jejake gilaan ramai ,dlm belog aku neh (like some certain annoying biatch did) (<-- we'll get back to that later.) but, more like sharing what I like, and what I have learn a lot from this guy. (ye ke?)

senang citer, korunk layan ah belog beliau, and after that, jangan dtg belog aku dah, tak best pon. nak bakar ah belog nih. ARGHHH! sape lah belog aku disisi belog beliau. WAKAKA. takde kaetan. again. abaikan.

Masing2 punye belog, masing2 punye style. kan?

But, He's brilliant, you should check him up, kepade sesiape yg belom lah, aku rase, sume blogger Malaysia ni dah kenal ngan name die nih. CIS, aku ketinggalan.(_ _'')